It’s because I fell in love with you： 君を恋におちた
by redgrrl
Summary: COMPLETE. But I couldn’t stop. Because at that moment, you were my world. Nothing else seemed to properly exist. All I saw was you. But was this all it was? For a photograph? Sakura, did you feel anything in this kiss…not even a tiny bit?
1. Chapter 1: At that moment

Disclaimer: CCS and Tada, Kimi Wo Aishiteru isn't mine.

Ok, this story runs back and forwards two time periods pretty frequently…so it might get a tad confusing. Enjoy!

It's because I fell in love with you：僕は彼女に恋した　

_Chapter One: From that moment_

Sakura; she was the biggest liar I've known in my life. I remember once, she told me about espers – a telepathic being found in scientific texts and movies. Sakura told me – 'I found a theory to detect an esper! Want me to tell you – and I think…Meiling-san is an esper,' she said, with a cheeky grin on her face, tempting me to try out her philosophy.

While she was such a smooth liar, I was the most gullible person on the planet. I believed her, when she told me the way to detect an esper.

She told me that about the esper, because she knew I had a small crush on Meiling, and she knew it'll tempt me to ask her if she was an esper. End result: make me look like a fool.

But Sakura, my little crush on Meiling…was nothing…nothing compared to…

Sakura…I know I never asked you…but why did you lie…even to me?

It was seven years ago…

…

I saw you, Sakura, standing there, with your arm raised to cross the pedestrian crossing – but no car was letting you cross there when every other student crossed the road further up. You looked so helpless, standing there with your hand up, trying to take a step with a determined expression on your face.

"Um…you're better off crossing at the next block," I told you, "All the students force the drivers to let them cross over there – its closer,"

Prepared to leave, I readjusted my shoulder bag, and almost turned around – until I heard you, Sakura speak. "But that's wrong, isn't it? This is a pedestrian crossing!"

I found myself smiling at your innocence. Did you know that, Sakura? Then I held my grin back, and told you quite seriously, "You'll never get across here. You'll be even later to the graduation ceremony,"

"Then we're both late!" you replied enthusiastically. It was then; I decided you were a weirdo. Forcing a grin onto my face, I turned away from you, but it wasn't long – I'd say ten metres of so – before I turned back around to see if you've gone and followed my instructions.

But what I saw – was not what I expected. You had gone a metre out onto the crossing, with your arm up, waiting for a Samaritan to let you pass.

You caught me looking – I quickly turned away, my cheeks turning red from embarrassment. Ignoring my total mortification, you smiled (I didn't even know your name then, remember?), and said determinedly to me, "Don't worry! You go along! I'm going to see if there's any kind person that let's me cross."

You stopped talking to me then, and focused on trying to cross the road at the crossing.

Impulsively, I got my camera out, and took a snapshot of it. You looked back at me then, with a strange expression on me, and you inquired, "Are you taking a picture of me?"

"No!"

I saw you grin mysteriously, and you replied slowly and carefully, "Most people would notice, if you were to take a picture of them…are you a senior?"

I felt like telling you I was actually a freshman, like you Sakura, but instead, I awkwardly smiled, and headed off to class. I planned on developing those pictures once I got home. That very picture is still hanging on my wall to this day, did you know, Sakura? You, with that determination on your face, and the cars zooming past you in a blur – the world were ever revolving, but time stood still when I saw you.

…

Sakura, did I ever tell you… I honestly thought you were awfully strange and out-of-place when I first met you? With your peculiar sense of style and fashion, your childish demeanour, and your cheeky grin; you seemed different from all the other people in my classes. We shared only one class together in university, humanity studies, and each time, you would fall asleep within two minutes of the lecture. Sometimes, you even let out a little snore, and fidget around like a squirrel. I, who sat two rows behind you, felt like laughing at you then, if only the lecturer wasn't so strict-looking.

But then you approached me and my lonely table at lunch, and sat down next to me, with your little donut wheat biscuits, and me with my apple and cinnamon muffin. You stood there, looking at me, before smiling ever so slightly and going, "May I sit next to you?"

I recognised you immediately, because even if I didn't remember your face, I remembered your immature and childish appearance. What could I say? _I think you're weird, so no; you can't sit next to me! …. _Of course I couldn't say that!

I motioned for you to sit next to me, and you plopped down, and got out your donut wheat biscuits. I remember me looking at them, one eyebrow raised. You saw my curiosity at them, and you declared proudly, "Wheat donut biscuits! They're so yummy!" and shoved one into your mouth, "I have a condition that only allows me to have the smell of one hundredth of a normal human being,"

At that, my thoughts returned to my side infection, where I had to put on an ointment every hour or so. I've been paranoid of it smelling badly – a reason I never got close to people. I thought, maybe it was safe to be around this girl…maybe she won't mind me…

"Ne, we haven't introduced each other properly, have we now? My name's Kinomoto Sakura! Nice to meet you," you said, putting your biscuits down. I smiled politely, and shook your hand.

"Li Syaoran," I replied back, truly smiling.

"Then…why don't we be friends?" you said, letting go of my hand and eating another biscuit again.

I grimaced inwardly, and said unsurely, "I'm not sure how it came to that…"

I gave you an open ended answer to the end, didn't I, Sakura? I never answered that question. But I wish I did.

Come to think of it, I've never seen you eat anything else much but those donut shaped wheat biscuits. Is it because the wheat smells is so strong – it's one of the only things you can smell? I've always wondered, Sakura…were they to assure you…that your senses were still working; that you weren't just fading away? You always appeared so happy; your emerald green eyes sparkling with inner pleasure that everything that happens.

I didn't know when it happened, but all my thoughts of you being an odd person vanished from that moment.

…

"So did you manage to cross the road?" I questioned you, in humanity studies. You seemed to try and pay attention this time, considering I was sitting next to you. Yawning, you stretched your arms, and sighed animatedly.

You shook your head in a heavy way, and looked rather disappointed, "No one! Not a single person let me cross the road…"

Watching my facial expression – which was filled with amusement and entertainment then – you seemed to defend yourself with dignity, "But that doesn't mean I'll give up! One that, I will cross that road. I swear!"

I chuckled, and copied the notes of the whiteboard while occasionally glancing back at you, "You know, I do know a way of crossing that road of yours…" I suddenly felt rather pleased with myself – that I was able to help you in some way. And to see that giant smile on your face – that was the highlight of my day, "but before that…" I pointed to the notes on the board and prepared to receive whining from you.

But when I realised I wasn't getting any response – I looked back at you, and found you were sleeping. With a dear, soft expression upon your face. For some reason, I didn't have the heart to wake you up from your deep slumber. I wanted to see that face of yours for a little longer. One of calmness and peace.

I could hear no one else, but you that day.

…

End of chapter one

My Japanese is pretty scratchy – but I'm pretty sure the title of the story is correct…

"_Boku wa Kanojyou ni koishita." _

From what I can gather, it pretty much means, I (male version) fell in love with her, which is the closest I can get to the original title… XD

Can someone please correct me if the translation is wrong?? My Japanese isn't pro at all XD

Anyway, please review!! I really want to know if the second person perspective was ok and understandable – I've never written using this perspective before…it was kind of refreshing.

I haven't ran this story through my editor yet – so please excuse any errors in phrasing and wording.


	2. Chapter 2: From that kiss

Disclaimer: CCS and Tada, Kimi Wo Aishiteru isn't mine.

Second chapter…Syaoran's perspective. Three parter. Or shall I blast you all with the ending in this one…we shall see ne?

It's because I fell in love with you：僕は彼女に恋した　

_Chapter One: From that kiss _

Oi Sakura, why didn't you ever tell me anything? The time when I totally ditched you at the sidewalk outside an ice cream shop because Meiling suddenly wanted me to go to the beach with her. It was fun times, I admit. I felt like I actually belonged then – but it was nothing without you…did you know that? Even though everyone was nice and kind to me…your missing presence meant everything. Absolutely everything.

Your smile…your goofy grin…your childish outlook on things…

Why didn't you tell me…that you cried that day?

The day I came back from the beach, I saw you, still waiting outside that ice cream shop, sitting down on the edge of the path. It was almost sunset, and I could see you were sleeping – again – from waiting for me so long. We agreed to meet at noon, didn't we? You waited for me for that long? Slowly, I placed my hand on your shoulder, and gently shook you awake. You awoke with a startled cry, thinking you were being attacked, but suddenly, a goofy smile took place on your face. "Took you time!" you laughed, slowly getting up, obviously hiding your sadness.

I observed your actions closely, and decided it was time, "Sakura – want to cross that road?"

"…" was your response, and you waved it off, "I'm sure you were tired – from whatever made you late. Right? I know Syaoran-kun wouldn't leave me alone for so long without a reason,"

I felt guilty – I had left her there, without even a message, because my crush had asked me out to go to the beach.

I'm such a jerk…

"It wasn't that important…"

"Stop lying, Syaoran-kun! To me, it might not be important, but it was definitely important to _you_ and that's what counts…although I admit I do want to cross that crossing…but I shouldn't be selfish, its very unbecoming." You said softly.

Before you could even say another word, I took your hand, and we started running. To the university crossing.

…

I saw you gasp, when you saw no one and no cars in sight. The whole university campus – including all the roads off it, were barren. I heard you laugh in delight, as you took your hand away from mine, and started running up and down the crossing.

How can something so simple bring you so much joy?

"Syaoran! I never thought of it like this – since its so late now, no one would be here!" you gasped, slightly tired from running so much.

I chuckled, and waved hesitantly, "Well, I need to go now…as you said…I _am_ tired…"

Immediately you stopped laughing, "Oh…well…goodbye then, Syaoran-kun."

It felt like a stab in the heart…didn't it…Sakura…

I wasn't even tired…I just didn't want anyone around to do what I enjoyed doing. And at that time, it included you… but, instead of leaving me alone, like what other people would do, you followed me. I didn't notice it at first, but when I climbed over the gate at the nearby forest (one with a sign saying: NO TRESPASSERS), I heard footsteps.

Soft ones, but footsteps none the least. I remember hastily turning around, and found you looking rather lost and curiously at me. You asked what I was doing at the forest, and I shook my head in distrust.

But you didn't take silence for an answer, did you? As I continued on further; deeper and deeper into the forest, you followed me all along. You never came closer than about 10 metres though, you watched me take out my camera, and take snapshots of the scenery.

The only thing I could remember was annoyance at your actions back then.

…

The next day, as I walked into the canteen, I saw Meiling wave me over, to sit with her 'popular' group. I felt strangely honoured, and didn't think twice about sitting next to her. The endless chatter and gossip started then, at her table. Her group didn't even blink at me; simply accepted the fact I was invited by Meiling.

Surrounding Meiling were various other males and females. A male called Takeshi, who was smiling at Meiling like there was no tomorrow. Another male named Eriol, who was shamelessly trying to charm her. Then there was Tomoyo and Chiharu on the sidelines, watching as their two friends tried to get Meiling's attention.

Don't get me wrong; Meiling isn't simply the flirty, desperate female you see all the time in those movies. Nawh, she was smart; I'll give you that. She knew what those two men were trying to do, and she wasn't exactly welcoming it. Meiling wasn't desperate. At every attempt the two tried, she rejected. It was no wonder Tomoyo, Chiharu and Meiling were still tight friends.

Body language does a strange thing; I could tell instantly Tomoyo had an unrequited love towards Eriol. Oh, I don't know. Was it her silent stares or her awkward movements that gave it away? And Chiharu – you could tell instantly she wasn't used to being ignored by Takeshi. She kept trying to get his attention by smashing his head – not that it was working.

Meiling caught my eye once or twice – and I blushed at every glance. I'm sure she gets my body language too.

Upon those thoughts, I saw you enter suddenly – and found you staring at me and the group. You smiled sadly, and went and sat by yourself at a table in a corner. At that time, I thought, "You understand too, right?"

Do you remember, Sakura? When that scene happened? I was such, a cold-hearted jerk back then; I didn't notice how you felt at all.

But at least, I made up for that saddening scene later on when I once again climbed over that No Trespasser's sign to the forest. I looked back to find you hauling your dress up to climb over the fence. It was such a funny sight, I couldn't help but snigger. You indignantly trenched on behind me, both of us not uttering a single word. Until we arrived at the lake.

"Wow…it's so pretty." You said, smiling at the scene. The lake was indeed crystal clear; a sanctuary for both of us. We looked onwards to the never ending sea of blue, shining in the light. It was almost ethereal.

But all things that seem heavenly have an end.

…

Back at the university, I invited you over for dinner to develop the pictures we took at the Forest. You agreed with a HUGE goofy grin on your face, and twirled around, laughing. I couldn't help but smile too. Sakura, your smile is contagious. I saw Meiling staring at the back of my eye, but I brushed the feeling of uneasiness away. For some reason, I would much rather please your childish wishes than to spend another day at the beach, lying there in the sun…

I heard Takeshi distantly say something like "Is that his girlfriend?" and giggling that followed after from the girls. _Whatever_, I thought. They can be immature if they want, but Sakura was simply a friend.

As we were developing the photos, I saw you bewildered face as she dipped it into the acid.

"Wait a minute, can you?" I asked you, "I'm going to hang them up,"

You nodded happily, and I went off in the other room. But what I didn't realise, Sakura, was that, on that day, you saw the photos I had taken before; including the one of you crossing that road…with your hand up, a determined expression on your face.

When I came back into that room, I saw your face light up, and you smiled, "Dinner is on me."

I never knew you ate ANYTHING but donut biscuits at that time, so when you prepared a traditional Japanese meal, I was so surprised. I couldn't say anything but "wow".

I found it funny, when you started eating the rice and drinking the miso soup. You frowned at me, asking what was wrong. I replied, telling you that seeing you eat proper food is so disturbing.

You laughed, and told me she'll eat it all if I didn't stop gaping at her.

While washing the dishes, I asked you about your family.

But your answer wasn't what I expected.

"My dad is in Hokkaido, I'm in Tokyo by myself…my mother's dead – she's never been there as far as I can remember."

That just didn't seem like something you'll say. But you continued on never the least.

"I used to have a brother, but he died two years ago. I ran away from home then, because my father didn't seem to care much. You remember how I said I have really bad senses? It's because it's a disease inherited in my family. My mother died shortly after giving birth to my brother. My brother died when he was seventeen. Just when he fell in love with this wonderful girl he grew up with…"

You turned to me brightly, waving the sponge around in your hand, "But I'm not going to give up the world _that _easily! You know why I'm still alive? It's because I must've inherited my dad's genes!"

"Oh! I almost forget…Syaoran-kun…can you help me with the photography competition? I just need to take one photo at that forest…"

For some reason, that night was filled with awkward silences from me; it was your voice that kept the house alive. It was also that night that I found out, indeed how much I didn't know about you.

…

"Are you sure about this?" you asked me for the fifty billionth time.

I smiled slightly, and told her with an assuring voice, "of course. It's only a kiss…if you can win that competition with that kiss, then why not?"

The camera was set up nearby, and you were anxiously in one of your prettiest dresses (that made you resemble a child even more). Your wide emerald eyes seemed to pour themselves into my amber ones.

"Syaoran…isn't this your first kiss?"

Whoa. Now how did you know that? Of course it was! It's not like I, the almighty-reject Syaoran Li, kissed girls on a daily basis. I had valued my first kiss greatly…but at the thought that it might help you win, I didn't seem to care much anymore. Anything for you, Sakura. I couldn't ever bear to disappoint you…

I counter-acted that by saying, "I have a feeling this kiss is going to be your first as well".

No response. I take it I was right.

Slowly, I saw you move in closer to me. I could smell your scent now, Sakura. Of flowers…ivy was it? Or was it roses…you hesitated while about five centimetres from my face. You whispered, "You don't need to do this for me, you know,"

"I know."

And then, I ducked my head, and placed my lips on your soft ones.

I closed my eyes, and heard a slight click, and a flash.

_Well this is it. _

But I couldn't stop. Because at that moment, you were my world. Nothing else seemed to properly exist. All I saw was you. But was this all it was? For a picture? Sakura, did you feel anything in this kiss…not even a tiny bit? Because it was from this kiss, that I finally realised something.

Why was I so absorbed into Meiling; a girl I can never get, when the girl that's always been beside me…been there when no one else was, I ignored?

Suddenly, you pulled back, and you touched your lips. Hesitantly, you stepped away from me, and smiled slightly, "Thank you, Syaoran-kun. That was a wonderful photograph."

So it was _just_ a photograph…

"Ne, let's have dinner now, shall we? I'll just go to buy some groceries – wait for me at my apartment, ok?"

I saw you nod, and with that confirmation, I ran. As fast as I could, away. I could feel tears fill the brims of my eyes, but I wiped them away hastily.

It was very unbecoming for a guy to cry, you know.

…

When I came back, with a swift _tadaima_, at the doorway, I noticed something was wrong. There were no banging noises of you falling over; there wasn't any random laughing at the television screen…there was no happy shouting of your perfect photograph…

No smile came to greet me…

I ran to check in each room of the apartment. I was frantic with worry. Where on earth had you gone?

And then I saw it, on the refrigerator door. A note ironically held up with a smilie magnet.

_Dear Syaoran-kun, _

_Thank you for everything. _

_Goodbye. _

_Sakura. _

…

7 years later…

On that day, I ran everywhere. I ran to the convenience store – I ran to the library. I ran to the university, shouting and screaming your name everything. This had to be a joke, I thought. You wouldn't leave me, right? Not when I just found out what was truly important to me.

You wouldn't…wouldn't ever leave me.

I walked all over the city that night, trying to find you. I was determined you were playing hide and seek with me, messing with my mind.

I ran back to the forest, _maybe you were still taking photos_. All that was left was the camera stand with a packet of donut biscuits.

_Why did you leave me? _

I didn't hear from Sakura in the next 7 years. I still kept the note she left on my fridge, "_Thank you for everything. Goodbye. –Sakura."_

I didn't receive any postcards – no letters. No nothing. I passed my Humanitarian Studies with flying colours, and eventually took up photography as well. You had inspired me to be a photographer; wherever you were, I don't want to let you down.

But then, one day, as I was impatiently going through the usual bills and enquires from my mailbox…I found something, that tore my heart apart.

_Dear Syaoran-kun, _

_It's been a long time, hasn't it? I still remember the days when I laughed like there was no tomorrow; days when you would consistently roll your eyes at my childishness. Seven years. You can say I'm no longer the girl – or should I say child? – you met. You'll regret not kissing me more, I bet! (I'm only kidding). _

_How've you been, Syaoran? Life in New York isn't how I'd imagined it to be. The day I kissed you, for the perfect photograph for the competition – I realised I had to leave. New York was sort of like a…journey of independence for me. I realised how narrow the things I was exposed to were. I wanted to see more… but ultimately…despite all those excuses…I left…Because I fell in love with you. _

_Did you know, Syaoran, I fell in love with you the moment you told me that it was impossible to cross from that crossing? The way you hesitated, the way you smiled. The way you took the picture of me…_

_I never told you the result of the competition did I? It won the award – it's displayed in my exhibition! Come to see it, if you have time, ok? _

_You know…all these years, I've been wondering…did you feel…anything…anything at all in that kiss? _

_From Sakura with love. _

Oh Sakura…

…

End of chapter two

Writing up chapter three as we speak here.


	3. Chapter 3: More than the world

Disclaimer: CCS and Tada, Kimi Wo Aishiteru isn't mine.

Last section of the three parter. Enjoy!

**Thank you to ****synchronocity**** for correcting the mistake in the name. **

_This chapter is no longer retold from the past. _

It's because I fell in love with you：君を恋におちた

_Chapter __Three__: More than the world_

I felt my blood running cold as I finished reading her letter – at the beginning; it seemed like a cold welcome. I thought she was breaking all my dreams into pieces. But then I read that she felt there was more to that kiss.

We had felt the same, and yet, neither of us confessed, in fear of rejection. In fear that we would be alone again.

Your hand was shaking as you wrote that letter, wasn't it? I can tell some letters and characters are slightly strange. The letter looked like someone had cried on it. Oh, Sakura, don't tell me you cried over me – I'm not worth it.

Suddenly, as if a light bulb appeared on top of my head, I hurriedly found the envelope that I had ripped open in anticipation and terror. And then I found it. _The address to Sakura's house._

But Sakura, _why are you in NEW YORK of all places! _

…

Ok, to be honest, the plane trip wasn't the greatest. Food was terrible, Sakura. You made me eat that! But, I suppose it's little trouble compared to being able to see you again. For the first time in seven years. Are you still like the little Sakura I knew? The one with hopes and dreams as big as a skyscraper? Or have you finally recognised reality…finally had to leave your dreams…

I don't want you to turn into someone like me.

The journey to your apartment wasn't the greatest either. I got lost only about a couple hundred times, with the different numbering and naming systems compared to Japan. The streets were actually _numbered_ here, can you believe it? Anyway, I finally found your apartment, on the 11th floor of a dark and grey building. It just didn't seem like a place where you'll live, to be honest. I thought you'll be living in a bright orange and yellow beach house.

None of it seemed real until the moment I pressed the doorbell. All these seven years Sakura – it seemed to me was just a dream. Like you never left me. To be honest, in those seven years, I wasn't even sure if I ever did meet you really. I realised all too late, that I never treasured the time I had with you. I never thought that a day would come where you wouldn't be there.

_Ding-dong!_

My heart was pounding inside my chest. I wondered what I could say to you when you opened the door. Should I go, "Hello!" or should I go for a more casual greeting? "Yo". Or maybe stare infinitely into your emerald orbs...absorbing them in…and then say breathlessly, "I've missed you," and then embrace? Or should I be angry at you for deserting me all those years ago? Or should I steal your _second_ kiss away from you (providing you hadn't kissed anyone else in those seven years). I heard footsteps hurriedly coming towards the front door, and someone said "coming!"

It was a voice I could distinctively remember…but something in it wasn't right…

The door opened, and disappointment stabbed me deep in the heart. In front of me, wasn't the bright green eyes I was looking for, but a pair of ruby ones.

I was struck speechless for a few moments, and then I said, with a tinge of disappointment in my tone, "Meiling."

She looked surprised for a few seconds as well, as if not expecting it to be me, "Syaoran-kun. It's you! Haven't seen you in a while…in fact…four years. It's been that long since I've left Japan, hasn't it?"

I shook my head, unable to bare it anymore, "That's not what I came here for," I peered inside for any signs of that emerald eyed individual, "I…"

"Sakura's in London. She's at a photo shoot; she'll be back in a few days or so,"

It was like pouring ice cold water onto a fire.

"Oh…" I said hesitantly, trying to looking more optimistic and cheerful, "Well then I guess…hang on, what are _you_ doing here?"

"I drop by…every so often, to you know, keep an eye on things. Me and Sakura have been…close I suppose you can call it,"

She handed me the set of keys, and motioned for me to go in, "Sakura wouldn't mind. She'll be ecstatic to know you've came. After all, you guys haven't seen each other in years…right?"

She gave me a sad smile that seemed to know to much. I shivered. The apartment seemed to give off an unwelcoming, gloomy aura. I don't know why, but Sakura, you seemed more far away than ever.

…

A few days turned into a week. A week turned into a month. In that depressing apartment I lived, but nothing seemed wrong – until a month had passed. Until then, I had dismissed the thought of you as simply "away working". But a month is too long compared to the few days Meiling had pointed out. Meiling didn't drop by again after that either, but I had the most suspicious feeling that she walked past the hallway a few times, making sure I was still there.

_But where are you? _

That's when I couldn't hold in my curiosity of the apartment anymore. I started scavenging throughout the house – although I knew it wasn't my place to do so. Drawers – cupboards – shelves, you name it, I searched through it.

In the second day of my scavenge hunt, I found what I was looking for. A draw filled with letters.

_Prewritten letters. _To me.

All postcards. All with my name and my address. They were never sent. The dates on the postcards also lasted until about eight more years into the future. Why had she prepared to send me letters for the next eight years?

And then I found it. A bottle of tablets that was still half filled with pills that were red and white. The label on it was a long, scientific name, and then at the bottom, it said, "Prescription only."

I read through the labels, and I dropped it in shock. Sakura, you had lied. Again.

You said you had inherited your father's genes – the perfectly healthy ones, when in fact, you had inherited your mother's infected genes. You said you won't let the world swallow you so easily. You said you'll fight!

"PUT THOSE BACK THIS INSTANT!" I heard someone shrill.

I turned around and found Meiling, fuming at me, and she stormed over, and slammed the drawer shut, "I never told you that you could raid Sakura's belongings! Don't you think she deserves to have some privacy while she's in France?"

France? Just a few days ago, on the phone, Meiling told me she was in Greece…

My dream shattered. How long did you think you were going to deceive me for, Sakura? Just how long? Thirteen years later? Twenty years later? Just how long have you been planning this Sakura? I'm not as stupid as you think I am…I do have a heart…

You were never in London. Never in Greece. Never in France.

You…were long gone from this world, weren't you…?

That's why all those letters and postcards were prewritten and not sent. That's why they were all dated in the future. Because you had told Meiling to send one to me each month. So I would still think you were alive…

I felt my eyes watering, and desperately turned away from Meiling, and held my head up high, "…when did you plan on telling me? That Sakura was never in London. That…she's been long gone…"

Something in my throat stopped me from being able to speak. I just couldn't anymore. The tears were welling up so rapidly, I could barely see what was in front of me. Why Sakura? Why? You never told me…I could never help you…you left me without even saying a Goodbye…

I bought a hand to my face, and quickly wiped away the tears. But it didn't help – they just kept coming. Oh god. Sakura was _dead_.

An astonishing silence fell upon the room as Meiling's own voice had gone quiet, "she told me…she told me to not tell you…in her last three minutes of her life…" she croaked, "In the hospital bed…she told me, to let you keep thinking she was alive. She told me to keep sending postcards to you, never expecting you to come for a girl that you met for only a few years in university,"

Meiling desperately turned to me, and she cried out, "Sakura told me she thought she was _nothing_ in your life. She thought she didn't mean anything to you at all! Even so…she said, she just wanted to continue becoming a part of your life…despite whether you loved her or not…because _she_ loved _you._"

It was like a slap in the face.

But the only thing I could say pathetically was that, "But she promised…"

The tears wouldn't stop. At least, before, I had a dream that you'll someday come back to me. Or that we'll meet again. I never went to look for her, because I thought she wanted to be free. Because if you love something, you'll let it go. If it's yours…it'll come back… That was what I had thought…but now…everything…was gone.

"I'll keep sending those postcards…Syaoran…she'll want me to," Meiling whispered, looking away.

I could only nod, my head hanging down. It was raining outside; it looked like even the weather, was reflecting how I felt like.

I thought we'll be together some day…thought we'll be together forever…

…

I went to your exhibition, Sakura, the next day. The one you told me about in your previous letter…I remember you telling me, "I like taking pictures of people, because you can just feel the love vibrating off the photos,"

Why couldn't you say more to me? Why couldn't we have talked for longer? Why didn't I appreciate all that you've done…until you're gone forever?

Hallway by hallway, I walked through. Pictures of people smiling…pictures of people crying…pictures of people embracing. It was a wonderful…picturesque exhibition. I could feel your happiness and sadness in each of these pictures, did you know, Sakura? I can visualize you, setting up the tripod, and clicking the button.

It was the last hallway now, and I slowly walked up to the end…to find the picture of us kissing, Sakura. The sparkling lake was behind us, and we both had our eyes closed. It was so breathtaking…but to think…I can never…see that face of yours again…never witness that smile…never talk to you again…

I felt the tears coming again, but this time, I held them back. I couldn't cry at your exhibition; I'm meant to be proud of your work.

Slowly, I turned towards the exit…only to be confronted by a life size picture of you.

You were…different from before. You were wearing a formal, black dress, and your hair was long. Sakura…you…you looked mature. You didn't look a bit like the child I knew back in the university days… This time, I couldn't hold back. Tears gushed out, seeing your face again. I couldn't stop. This was the 'you' I can never see. Never speak to you again and share those donut biscuits.

Never again…

What have you done to me Sakura?

…

I'm looking at the sunset, on top of the roof of the humanity studies dorm, Sakura, a place where we shared many afternoons, many mornings, and many nights. A place where you cried in my arms when you were sad; a place where I sat grouchily beside you, wanting to daydream for a little longer. The sun was slowly coming down, the red rays spreading across, reflecting off the windows of the other dorms. It was beautiful, Sakura…if only you could see it. I think you would've liked to take a picture of it, wouldn't you?

In my other hand, is another postcard from you. You were talking about how Paris wasn't anything like how you thought it would be. _'The city of love – is nothing, without you, Syaoran.'_ I smiled, reading the postcard aloud. You sent a picture of you standing at the Louvre, with a mysterious, all-knowing smile on your face. The light behind you was illuminating you. It was surprisingly fitting, but I had honestly never thought of it that way. Sakura, you were the angel that saved my life.

Smiling, I looked into the sunset from the rooftop. I think I'll like to continue receiving those postcards from you, so this dream of you, Sakura, will continue on living. People may think you're not there anymore – that you don't exist. But in _my_ heart, the Sakura I know will always be there with me.

I just want this dream to last a little longer.

End.

_To all those unsatisfied, here is an alternate ending: _

I pressed the button on the doorbell, and I heard a scramble of feet that seemed to gradually get closer to the door. I braced myself. Maybe I was at the wrong house…maybe she doesn't remember me anymore (who knows, amnesia always happens in these stories), or maybe…something happened to her in the two days it took me to get here…

"Coming!" I heard someone from inside say. The voice did sound oddly familiar…

The door opened, and I was suddenly staring, at a girl that I know, and at the same time, did not know. You are dressed in a knee length formal dress, with your hair in waves. You shone with elegance and grace. I didn't know this girl. If only seeing you from your attire, I would have stepped away immediately, claiming I had the wrong house.

But I knew your face. Your emerald eyes were still the same. Your gentle, blissful smile and the way your eyebrows raised whenever something funny happened. The way tears seemed to gather in your bright green eyes whenever you were getting emotional. The way you hugged me…

"_Syaoran!" _you cried, suddenly embracing me tightly, your arms around my neck. I could feel your tears trickling down your face, I could feel the way your heart started beating faster. I could feel your pain, your joy and your love.

Can you feel mine, Sakura?

Can you feel my love for you?

I couldn't say a word at all; all the thoughts of 'hello' and 'how are you' simply disappeared from my mind the moment I saw you – a mature lady, no longer the childish girl I knew. You unknowing had put lipstick on; unaware of the impact it had on me. Sakura, I had wanted to say you were cute before…but now…

"_You're beautiful,"_ I whispered to you, whilst hugging you. The closeness of our bodies was getting to me. I could feel my face heating up.

Finally, you let go of me, and wiped you tears with your hand. Laughing, you cried out, "I thought…that you wouldn't come, after what I told you in that letter…I thought I had broken the friendship forever." you looked at me seriously, "That's why I never sent it. I had rewritten it almost fifty times in the past seven years, never satisfied with the result. But in the end…I thought, just go for it. It's now or never. If I kept waiting and perfecting it…time will end…and my dream…will simply stay as a dream,"

"Sakura…you've changed…" I murmured, unable to take the amount of maturity my Sakura had taken. Sakura of the older times would've continued putting it off, afraid to fail. Afraid to love and be unloved. But now, you knew that if you lived in that fear, your fear will actually become reality. It had taken you seven years…but…I finally…knew how you felt about me.

You placed a finger on my lips, and smiled, "There's plenty of time for explanations, Syaoran. Let's just go out right now, and have some fun, right? I discovered a really cool place to take photos…"

"Sakura, I have the answer. To the question in your letter."

I saw you pale to faint beige or green colour and you started biting your lip. It was then, that I knew…you had grown stronger, but deep inside; you were still the Sakura I met. The Sakura that everyone dismissed and never took the time to get to know. You're still her.

_Did that kiss mean anything at all to you, Syaoran-kun? Did you feel anything, even just a tiny bit? _

"It meant the whole world to me, Sakura,"

End.

So, pick whichever you like better! (Because I could honestly not decide between the two). This is probably my longest chapter to date.


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